Saturday, February 10, 2007
i know i repeat some of the stuff ... but i jzu forget wad i blog yesterday ... ya ...
ok i am home ... i cant stand all the heat ... n i really need rest ... i ditn sleep well last night ... cried for hours ... today morning my eyes was swollen ... n hearing her name today morning spoils all my mood ya ...
i know u can say me kiasu or wad .. that is me ... 16 years ... haiz ... it juz wont come true ...
no one will understand the pressure i am having ... i cried before i took my results ... can u believe it ...
i know very well ... even if my mum didnt sound dissapointed ... even if my cousins dun sound dissapointed ... even if my mum didnt say me i will still cry ...
because i lose again ... n unexpectedly ... i lose ... 10 is 10 ... 13 is 13 ... no matter how my cousin stand by me .. it is still a difference ...
i muz admit i was satisfied in the first place ... but when i heard her marks ... i started to blame nyself ... juz 3 pts ... it's juz 3 points ...
no one would understand how i feel ... that kind of environment ... that kind of atmosphere ... i ahd been living in it ... i had act ignorrant ... but i can act that i dun feel sad at all ...
i am juz sad ... very sad ... i lose until hen bu gan yuan ... hen yuan wang ... u know ... i ahd been crying ... today i wake up the first thing that happen is that my tears come out again ... it juz come out ... i cant stop it ... u r not in my shoe ... u wont know how it feel ... ya cheer up ... i wish too ...
i know everyone says 13 is good enough la ... i know it too ... but i juz couldnt stand it ... i juz cant control myself ... i will go into IMH soon ... i decided to go pioneer ... see how things goes first lo ... i dun know ... i juz dun wanna continue dissapointing anyone ... i dun one to dissapoint myself too ... n i know if we ended up in JC ... they will continue comparing ... my dad knows me ... he say i dun wanna go JC cause i dun wanna run ... n dun wanna be compared anymore ... i muz agree he is right ... although both of us took very different comb ... she took lit n comb sc all that ... they juz like to compare ... i juz need to learn to let go ...
really need to consider if i should comtinue in JC ... i dun wanna go mad ...
ok
i@fun was fun ... but i juz couldnt stand it .. all the heat all that ... gonna get skin cancer under the sun so long ... i got sun-burn ... it hurts ...
i will cheer up ... will learn to let go though i know it is impossible ... jia you ba ...
SZ
-To be or not to be, that's a question-
9:41 PM
