Wednesday, June 29, 2011
so much to rant about... where to start?
5s ago i was bathing
thought alot while bathing
so much things to say, to rant ...
school is starting mid-july
which means soooon....
life is going to get busy
i did alot this past 2 weeks
a doctor clothes
a phonics disc
bought k-link for my 2 aunt
go back sch to print ACCA bks
print RMIT bks
meet up with all my friends .....
go shopping
go find ACCA school
go Expo/ chalet
watch a few dramas
i tried to squeeze my time dry :)
fruitful weeks~
getting moody
as my days are going to get busy soon
next sem onwards i will be attending to schools
RMIT and LSBF
one australia one london
lessons will end at 10pm for my RMIT next sem
so my days are going to start early and end late
i will be starting my driving practical soon also
i gave up my piano :(
why people study 1 thing
i have to study 2 places?
why study?
to have better live in future?
what is better live?
everyone say ACCA is a must
but i feel so uncertain now ...
i dont know if i can complete my ACCA
if i complete
does it mean i will really get a good job
but what is a good job?
what if i study so much and it all end up to be of no use
i end up having jobs what most people have
so what makes the difference?
and why am i working harder than other people now ... if this is what is going to happen
life is so uncertain, unpredictable
sometimes it makes me think why do i have to do all this?
i am really thankful to munling and panying
they always spur me on when i meet up with them
and they always seems to support with my decision ...
i am so fortunate to have them as my fren ...
i am soo lag behind the timetable i set for myself
it makes me feel burden
so many book to read
so heavy ....
i feel so sorry towards zhi xuan
she really threat me as a good friend
but i threat her as a competitor
i dont know what others will say
but sometimes i feel so bad for holding things from her
who tells her to not work hard and score the same grade as me last sem
so i made her my target
now she say she want to study ACCA
i want to faint~
competitons are not only in school
but all around me
all my cousins ...
all the people out there....
everyone is a competitor to me
is that why i have to work hard?
the last time i met up with my sec sch fren
someone told me
' i am so surprise u came, i tot u wont come'
i already tried my best to attend as many fren meeting as possible
but how come people can attend every single fren meeting?
and still do not bad for her studies..
but i dont want not bad, i want good grades ... actually she did well for her studies too (i think)...
since i decide to study this, i want to try my best to get good grades
maybe that is why i feel so tired and burden sometimes
because unlike many other people, i dont want to just stop at acceptable grades
really feel that some of my good frens are drifting apart from me
sometimes i feel like changing my phone number
and dont tell anyone my number
just let me leave on a no man island~
so many people out there are getting good grades
why must the world have so many people?
why cant it just be me and all the people i know only?
come to think of it
there is alot of time i regret what i say
'think before you speak' seems to be too difficult for me to learn :(
so what now?
study ....?
......life..........haiz
today i fall in love with this phrase
有 舍 才 有 得 ， 不 舍 不 能 得 啊
u have to give up something to gain something
i am giving up some things now ... hope i will really gain something too ...
where is my future?
Alicia
p.s. as u can see all the paragraphs dont flow, i just write what came to my mind ...
-To be or not to be, that's a question-
6:47 PM
